Dishing Out: Revenge Stories Best Served Cold


Wrap It Up

Nothing is more fun than having fun housemates! They keep your days alive and give you amazing memories. And prank wars are super fun? Maybe to some. Well, this girl went away for summer and when she came back, her entire room was filled to the brim with pink balloons!

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Well, she decided to repay the favour. Come Christmas, she planned the best gift there is. Your own stuff! She wrapped up every single thing in her housemates room. We wonder how long that took.

Cash Your Paybacks

Marriage is never a walk in the park. It takes time, effort, compromise and a whole lot of communication. So one would hope that the marriage will last forever! Sadly, we’re seeing a lot of divorce cases and the rate of divorce has gone up tenfold in the past 50 years.

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This guy was one of those people. So, he has to pay alimony but he decided to customize his checks by adding in an image of him and his new wife. Ouch.

All Wrapped Up In Revenge

This wife was probably heartbroken when she found out her husband was cheating. But she picked herself right up and planned the perfect revenge plot. Now, she probably decided she didn’t want to damage anything but just annoy the hell out of him.

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She covered his entire car with so many layers of saran wrap that she probably bought an entire store out. Either way, that cheating man will find it hard to get into his car unlike how hard it will be for him to enter his wife’s heart again.

Trick Doughnut

Having a pantry in an office has it perks and downsides. Perks is that you can store your food so you can binge while working. Downside here is that people may make a mess, take up too much space or worse: Steal Your Food.

Image Courtesy Of lufcdannyboy/Twitter

This person has had it with whoever it is that has been stealing their food and decided to set a trap! He gets plain doughnuts and stuffs them with mustard. If that isn’t vengeful, we don’t know what it.

Messing with the Pack

Whoever said humans were the best of the mammalian species were dead wrong. Never claim rightful territory by kicking a dog. It will find its way to level with you.

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Image Courtesy of virascoop

That dent is quite the beauty. He even had his friends to help him gang up against the bully. 

House Guest

Don’t you just hate it when your neighbour doesn’t get that you want to be alone?

She will not only intrude but spread lies and malice about the most basic things any human does.

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Image Courtesy of rocketgeeks

Yes, we have a pile of laundry; our dog barks; the baby cries. But hey, who said hospitality can’t go hand in hand with humour. Would you like that lemonade served cold?

Easter Egg Hunt

Another cheating fiasco. When will cheaters learn that they will never get out unscathed? Well, this guy better get ready because his (ex) girlfriend has found out that he’s been a cheating scum and has prepared a list that will send him on a wild goose chase.

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She hid all his things around the town that is significant to their relationship. Two scenarios could happen that probably will happen. One, being he doesn’t remember these places and Two, someone will probably steal his stuff before he gets to them.  

I’ll Give You What You Want

Anyone who’s ever been in any sort of relationship whether it is just your friend or sister, you know the first answer to this question: What would you like to eat?

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This guy was one of the many who finally got fed up with having to ask his girlfriend what she wanted only for her to respond with “I Don’t Know”. So he decided to give exactly what she asked for. An I Don’t Know Salad.

Wife=1, Husband=0

Husbands have a way with words but this husband needs to learn how to watch his. Perhaps he was joking but maybe he wasn’t. Regardless, he called his wife a sandwich maker and of course, she brushed it off, flipped her head back and laughed. NOT.

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She decided to show him exactly what kind of sandwich maker she was. We are sure he learnt his lesson and won’t be uttering those words to her.

Enough Is Enough

Having a messy partner takes a toll on a person. Asking nicely turns to passive aggressive sentences which then turns to nagging. And no one likes to nag or to be nagged at. For this guy, his partner kept leaving the house without making the bed.

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Which means he had to do it all the time. Finally, he has had enough and decided that he was only going to do his side of the bed from now on. We feel you, it’s downright unfair and tiring to be the only picking up after things.

Sibling Rivalry

Siblings are wonderful! They add colour to our lives and make us feel less lonely. However, anyone who has had siblings knows how annoying they can get as well. This pair of siblings totally get what we mean.

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This brother thought it was wise to use his sister’s toothbrush as a shoe shiner. Well, he thought wrong. She got revenge by giving his shoe a special glow that he was looking for. Safe to say, the look on his face shows that this is the start of a revenge war.

Hung to Dry

This is commendable. If you keep on picking up after your partner, the very least you could have him do is to bring in the laundry. That sun is at peak position to deliver the candid message.

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Image Courtesy of izismile

This image will be imprinted on his mind, and trousers forever. This is preparation for all the years of domestication. Now, you’re home free!

Cheaters Never Win

Love is great. Your partner is someone you think you can trust until you realise that it was a terrible mistake. Especially when they cheat. Was anything ever real? Well, this girl decided to make one thing of her cheating partner real and made sure it was there forever.

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She convinced her cheating boyfriend they had to get matching tattoos and while he went first, she picked up her stuff and left. Leaving him with a tattoo that will forever remind him that he’s a cheater.

Got Milk?

Having a new baby is hard enough without hassle of having to pump for half the day. You’re always racing to the ladies or mothers room to express milk to nourish your baby and then you realise that the one place you can store it is the office fridge!

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Well, this breastfeeding mom has had enough of some weirdo constantly taking her breast milk so she finally put a note on the bottle. We hope that person has learnt their lesson! However, that was one of the healthiest milk they were consuming.

Revenge Of The Zip-Tie

A driver’s licence is something a lot of people have but not everyone deserves. Parking however, is something everyone should learn how to do properly because if you don’t, a lot of people are going to get mad and you never know who might take revenge.

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This driver decided to park selfishly and paid the ultimate price, clearly, some other driver decided he or she needed to get revenge by using a zip-tie to link the trolley to the person’s door handle.

Trick Or Prick

October has arrived and it’s time for autumn and Halloween which means pumpkin picking season is out to play and everyone is excited to carve their pumpkins and display them on the front porch!

Image Courtesy Of Pinterest

However, this also means that there are sticky fingers running around as well and we don’t mean kids with fingers coated in candy.

This guy was so miffed at someone stealing his pumpkin that he planned a little trick for his own treat. Good luck to whoever it is that has been stealing from him!

Boy, Bye!

Breakups are not fun for anyone. And if you’re the one who messed up, you probably would’ve spent quite a bit of time wondering how to fix it. Well, we believe this couple had broken up and the guy decided to try his hand at a penned apology letter.

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The lady, however, is not going to accept his letter but she was gracious enough to correct his writing and even put in tips and a score. At 61/100, we think she was being generous. At the bottom she gave her feedback saying there was room for improvement.

You Snooze, You Lose

This wife was so very tired of her husband snoring. Perhaps it was keeping her up all night. Either way, she believed she needed to do something for revenge. We don’t really understand what happens next because she recorded her husband snoring and posted it on Spotify for the world to enjoy.

Image Courtesy Of DaveApnea/Twitter

In fact, she even did remixes. Is this for revenge or was she just realising some trapped creative energy? Either way, it gained 20K views. Wowza.

Boxed In

Some people think that they are the king of the road in their average, stereo sedans. Do they know Bluetooth exists? They’re hoarding up all that space there…with those cassettes and CDs. 

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Image Courtesy of Femina.hu

In what universe is it acceptable to park parallel to the curb stops? Even if he had parked first, justice will prevail.

Hands down to that team effort there. It’s a good thing to see that camaraderie is alive and well amongst townsfolk. 

Claws Out

This feline decided to take matters in her own hands. Her co-worker had been eating her lunch and failed to read the signs that it was a take-out for one.

Did he really think he would get away with it so easily? We, felines sharpen our claws nightly. Hell, she probably opened that can with a paw!

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Image Courtesy of Dooppy

We heard it tastes just like Tuna though. At least she put in cheese. We advise her to include mice next time- gives a Ratatouille taste!

Coffee Shop

Staying at the local coffee shop is a form of leisure. That cup is served perfect to taste, and the ambience is set to put your mind at ease. Unfortunately, some people don’t understand common etiquette. It’s not the local bar!

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One customer had found the table next to him to be too loud. They found the perfect name for their new business. So he bought the domain name.

Queue Off!

What is it with grocery lines that are so unbearable?

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Image Courtesy of Twitter/spokendamsel

For one, it’s those displays that add to your pile of “necessities”. What’s a budget anyway? Second, it’s that misaligned wheel that screeches of death and destruction. Third, it’s that passive-aggressive lady who “accidentally” bumps your rear with the end of her cart. 

Oh, after you!

Drawing the Line

It must be that some people’s field of vision is blocked by the car’s interior or make-up. They can’t seem to park properly. That is a meagre few inches and that driver would have been able to take up one car space. 

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Image Courtesy of Vidmid

No worries, we will adjust the car space for you. That’s just what this vigilante did when he stored a box of chalks in his car…for 10 months. Today was that much-awaited day! In all that time, he could have become a part of the local police and given that guy a ticket!

Slashing Tires

Best believe this guy has had his fill with his next-door neighbour.

He has probably gone to their backyard, had an amiable chat, discussed political affairs, kissed ass, and made sure that the nuke button stayed intact, then went home. This time, he left a note and slashed the tires. We don’t like it any more than you men!

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Image Courtesy of Vidmid

Him: What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate. Some men you just can’t reach… So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it! Well, he gets it! I don’t like it any more than you men.

We know. You were probably shocked that people could go to such lengths…playing head-banging guitar riffs!

Slithering Motherf

Those heels place pressure in all the wrong places. We’re wearing mandatory company clothes- that were sewn too tightly, and we come home to men who spend all day playing video games. 

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Image Courtesy of Belok.Net

How lucky can we get?

We don’t nag because we want to. We nag because we have to. Those doors aren’t going to wipe themselves. Those dishes aren’t going to rinse themselves, neither will that laundry pick itself up and fling itself to the bin. 

So to pass the time, it’s good that this woman diverted her partner’s attention to where it matters. More cleaning space for her with her boyfriend confined to the room. Had it been us, we would have bagged him with that pet.   

Guess being cold-blooded is in season!

Artistry 

If Michelangelo had the Catholic Church to snide about, and Bieber has Gomez to tweet about, then this artist had an anonymous fan to respond comically to.


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Image Courtesy of Thought Catalog/Juliet Lanka

On the second hand, that should also go out to individuals who mock and undermine artists. Just because it’s art, or on Spotify, doesn’t mean that it can be demanded free. They have stomachs to feed! 

Who’s the Boss?

When adopting a pet, evaluate your personality style? Are you the sadist or the masochist? Are you dominant or the submissive? Because when you are the latter for both questions, you are better off with a dog on a leash, or several if you want to get paid.

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Image Courtesy of Pinterest

Cats are politicians. They know things but have no regard for them. They have no regard for personal space, boundaries or titles. They hail from a long-list of felines!

Take for example this woman. She had locked that cat because it was time for Springtime cleaning, and for taking out the cat litter. That fur wasn’t going to have any of it. This was the least honourable room within the house.

Cleaning, you say? 

Rinse and Shine

It’s only your household when you’re sitting on the throne. That mounting glory is pooled behind you. And you have dutiful servants available at a bidding, so roll out the scroll of paper.

Until you see that the enemy has exhausted your resources. 

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Image Courtesy of Monagiza

If you hear the trike’s tires squeal and a wide-grinned madman pedal towards you, at least you have great taste in American horror films. 

Rinse and shine, Adam. I’ll tell you where you might be. You might be in the room you shat in. Up until now you simply sat in the shadows without checking to replace the roll. So are you going to watch yourself scour through the grime, or are you going to do something about it?

Running the Estate

The only true royalty in the family is the Queen. This grandma knows it. She’s going to live for another century if she has to just to prove a point.

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Image Courtesy of pupperish

Those kids better learn their values if they ever want to come over her house and have a cookie.  

Sibling Rivalry

Middle children are true sociopaths. Just look at this one here. 

Either that, or your sibling will tell you you’re adopted, and that the stork met a hurricane during delivery.

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Image Courtesy of Buzzfeed

Favoritism is another thing too. Having to deal with your older sibling’s hand-me-downs was degrading because she clearly did not have fashion taste. But having to get away with it every time makes your parents accessories. 

So that’s right. Scribble away because, in an alternate universe, you were lavished with attention and time. Temporary markers may fade, but permanent ones rectify what ought to have been all along. 

Potty Trainer

It’s portable for a reason. Those dual-engines should help you move further just to allow the crane to pass through. But you wouldn’t have any of it. You had to use the porta-potty. Karma is not on your side on this one.

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Image Courtesy of Global News

He has got the crane. Crane trumps potty every time. If it were us, we would have you reek on hours with the discharge. We would probably rattle it too and have gravity work in our favour.

We can always clean it later. 

Colouring Within The Lines

This is the most savage trick there is. It seems harmless, but every word you read further delivers a dawning sense of insult.

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Image Courtesy of Buzzfeed

There is nothing redeeming about having the intellect and motor skills of an adult, but having the impulsion of a toddler. Learn to park within the lines!

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, revenge is too!

Exchange Gift

St. Nicolas has come to town and he has come bearing gifts. This victim received a gift duct-taped all around. Talk about awkwardly unwrapping before unwelcome family members. 

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Image Courtesy of imgur

This Christmas levels the field by giving his brother a hammer and a concrete gift box. We would have probably given him a set of concrete boxes, decreasing in size placed one inside of another. The smallest box is a paperweight with “Thor” on it. 

Pineapples on Pizza

A similar counterpart would be raisins in chocolate cookies. But Rad Tasia goes berserk sociopath-style. There is no standard, no victim which cannot fall prey to her seeming act of generosity.

She will open that carton box angled towards you. Crumbs gather at the edge and you take a bit, to taste the soft, chocolate-melt cookie.

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GroovyTasia/Twitter

That is until you take the whole bite. Now you are just repulsed. Maybe it was a mistake. Some people cook with a spoonful of salt too much. And as you finish the whole batch, you are sure that she is un-raisin-able, to begin with. 

Graphic

Some people are textual learners while some learn best through visual aids. That’s just what that infographic was for. Unfortunately, this drew the ire of a regular. 

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Image Courtesy of FunnyJunk

He must be a kinesthetic learner for having pieced that together. That took a great deal of sheer will.

All that holding, expelling and release just to have the pin exit at the end. There really should be a time limit.

Man Against Wild

Primal instinct kicked. From his peripheral, a pair of wings extended and adducted until claws snatched his ice cream cone. His finger had been cut.

He had to retreat. He reached for weaponry underneath the sink- locked and loaded it. 

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Image Courtesy of Pinterest

The aggressor proudly struts across the railings. He settled his gaze at its chest and pulled the trigger. A continuous stream of correction shot through, causing the bird to lose its balance.

The next time that comes over, it won’t be for a volley of water, but it’ll be for entrée on a searing skillet pan, with spice and salt to taste!

Miss Americana

Blue, wide-eyed and tall. To her, your words were like knives and weapons wounding her over and over. You knocked her off her feet and got her feeling like a nothing. You picked on the weaker man. 

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Image Courtesy of Diply

Someday, she’ll be living in a big, old city. And the cycle of rudeness ends now because she won’t be led down that road.

Why you gotta be so mean?

Purge

You have until sundown before the siren blares. You are only allowed level 1-2 weaponry, so you choose to employ martial arts. You flex your hamstrings, leverage then kick at the child’s bike.  You did it before the legal purge. You were warned, and it’s set on stone. 

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Image Courtesy of Buzzfeed

Those Venetian blinds will not hide you. He can see right through and he’s on a hunt. This will only end one way- with a lollipop in his hand and a glass of milk by the tabletop. Have him cradled by your sexy babysitter. This is the only way you will be spared. 

Inked

That’s until death do us part, or until his body breaks down the ink pigments over the years. We have heard that tattoo removal is more painful and more costly than having to be inked.

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Image Courtesy of _Breyonnn/twitter

We hope for Breyon’s sake she had given the artist her own set of needles, and that these were left unsterilized for optimal delivery.

That or just have the artist to place a foot-long portrait of Trump on his back. Tell him that’s the only way he can be made great!

Service Charge

Was it because you were a male, or because your clothes weren’t skimpy enough. Either way, that bartender could have done better. He could have served those mixes and catered to his clientele in order of arrival.

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Image Courtesy of izismile

This is the perfect way to pull the master shake. It will bring a delicate flavour to your revenge.

That’s aesthetically delivered. Have him rub that table dry with those well-earned bills. 

Peter Rabbit

Rascal. Rebel. Rabbit. This is a replay of Potter’s classic. He was quietly hopping away on the lawn. As he neared the hole, he kept those jumps shorter, and the thumps quieter. He will be sneaking in your vegetable garden only to be met four plastic walls of Tupperware.

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Image Courtesy of FunnyJunk

The moral lesson of the classic is to listen to those wiser in judgment. Never make the mistake of stealing carrots in broad daylight. Do them by sundown. Not everyone has night vision like you Peter Rabbit. 

Frenemies

You’re sporting the high school vibe when you love and hate your “BFF”. You don’t understand how you guys became friends.

There are times you reverberate the same wavelengths, especially when it comes to dissing others.

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Image Courtesy of Diply

You love her enough to admire her sense of fashion, but you hate that she doesn’t floss, or that she doesn’t know the best angle of light exposure. You can’t tell her. How can you risk hurting her feelings? Just edit her out of it!

That’s more like it. See how that picture is so much better with a solo subject. Flaunt it!

Hair-Pulling

It is more common to see two broads pulling off each other’s weaves. This is similar to that. When he was sitting down (presumably, without his legs spread too wide), she walked past him and hit his leg.

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Image Courtesy of izismile

He respectably brought it to her attention- just to solicit an apology, but she wasn’t having any of that. She hurled a comeback. Now those braids gave him an idea.

We hope he was a good boy scout and did a decent figure of 8. 

Cheater

Fyre Festival, Mosh Pits, Indie Alternatives, Rock Bands- these scream of euphoria. So it’s really no wonder why thousands flock to enjoy music with everyone else. A group of strangers with few to much in common, gyrating, stomping and bonding over guitar riffs and unexpected news.

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Image Courtesy of Damncoolpictures

That guy must have been a cheat. Well, at least the truth has set her free, and she has amassed the sympathy of the whole crowd. 

Siblings

Who said you could adopt a new one? Why has the neighbourhood peasant come to visit? She is of an inferior class. See those paws, they’re smaller and less defined. They’re unsharpened from having to rummage through trash.

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Image Courtesy of UniversityFox

She has poor muscle tone; she doesn’t know how to defend her queendom. And that colour! That colour is just despicable. Only the golden browns can be called feline royalty.

There, I’ve quarantined the bumpkin. Off you go!

Grounded

Back in our time, things had been simpler. Our mothers would simply unplug the cord and Mario would indefinitely lose his life. No mushrooms to jump over or tunnels to dig through- the ultimate big boss has claimed him.

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Image Courtesy of UniversityFox

And all for the sake of cleanliness. So we’ll hurriedly toss the laundry aside, vacuum the room and sweep all of the dust under the rug- along with our homework.

It seems that for a time those fidget spinners were the fad, this mother grew tired of her child’s excuses. No cord-plugging, just weights!

Grow a Pair

How much does a bottle of water cost? Surely, that’s cheaper than the risk of incurring Hepatitis. We don’t understand how anyone would have mustered stealing something as common as that.

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Image Courtesy of UniversityFox

If he doesn’t have a pair of cojones, then at least he will grow a pair of breasts. And just in case the thief is a woman, we wouldn’t mind going over our desk and complimenting her for such sudden improvement.

Breast tenderness? Here, have a bottle. Might as well take the whole rack.  

Hairy Situation

What is our list of turn-ons? Hair in all the right places, and in the right amount; good hygiene; and initiative. Here’s a winner! He seems to have it all!

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Image Courtesy of Buzzfeed

That took a great deal of artistry- arranging strands like that, and having to make sure that they’re stuck with the correct proportion of soap and water.

The next time your roommate fails to unclog the drain, you can always use acid. 

To Whom It Belongs

This bum thought he would be able to get away with improperly disposing of his trash. He drove miles to the middle of nowhere and unloaded a dump. Luckily, a Good Samaritan took pity and returned the trash where it properly belonged. 

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Image Courtesy of Pinterest

Would you have been patient to do the same- ripping apart bag after bag just to find a home address on a mailing envelope? Well, it did make the list, and it will make a good story with friends.

Smart is the New Sexy

They have the new shades- transition but out of season. Those backs are strong and unyielding; they are used to carrying loads of books and can cite the references by the page.

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Image Courtesy of Pinterest

There is a reason why we don’t mess with them. Behind that façade of awkwardness, are a dozen of insults that can go straight to the plexus. 

And they have such high standards. 

Snuffing the Fire

Here’s a confession from a happily-divorced woman. We hope that she had gotten a good portion of the alimony. Either way, it’s clear she’s the victor.

Just to secure the fort, we would have drunk the milk supply and stored away yoghurt in case he needed to extinguish the flames.

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Image Courtesy of The Sun

She could have also “conveniently” cleaned the refrigerator and taken out all the products and ice packs. As a harbinger of truth, that ice pick better be the first thing he glances at the tabletop. 

Closure

Some respectable people have it, while some people have at it. Quick! Choose your weapons- her cooking, your unclipped feet, her fake tan, your beer belly, her ex, your Netflix password?

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Twitter/heyQueenRegina

We can only be generous and loving for so long. But once that relationship is over, to each his own! He probably should get his password changed or use his friend’s Netflix.

It’s time she unsubscribed, or he could have spoiled the plot for her.